Friday, 27 April 2012

Countdown To Avengers: Thor

File:Thor poster.jpg

Spoilers

Directed by Kenneth Branagh
Written by Ashley Edward Miller, Zack Stentz and Don Payne

Cast
Chris Hemsworth as Thor
Natalie Portman as Jane Foster
Tom Hiddleston as Loki
Anthony Hopkins as Odin
Stellan Skarsgard as Erik Selvig
Rene Russo as Frigga
Kat Dennings as Darcy Lewis
Idris Elba as Heimdall
Colm Feore as Laufey
Ray Stevenson as Volstagg
Tadanobu Asano as Hogun
Joshua Dallas as Fandral
Jaimie Alexander as Sif
Clark Gregg as Phil Coulson
Adriana Barraza as Isabel Alvarez
Maximiliano Hernandes as Jasper Sitwell
Jeremy Renner as Clint Barton/Hawkeye (cameo)
Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury (post-credit cameo)

Thor is the movie that represented Marvel Studios' first major risk when it came to making movies of their properties. Whereas both Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk were well-known, and had the classic comic book storylines of superheroes and scientific experiments gone wrong, this dealt with the pantheon of Norse Gods, with magic taking precedence over science for the first time. The characters are so well known from Norse mythology, that most people didn't even know that they were also characters in Marvel Comics until the movie came out. And let me tell you, if you're familiar with the mythology, good old-fashioned comic book family entertainment would not be your first thought when you hear the title.

As an example, that eight-legged horse that Odin rides during one scene of the movie? He's called Sleipnir. The Gods had asked a builder to build a fortification in three seasons, but warned him that if he didn't finish in time he wouldn't be paid. There was a little while left to go, and the builder was still on schedule, so the Gods sent Loki to delay him so they wouldn't have to pay. Loki had noticed that the builder was using a horse to help him, so turned into a female horse to lure it away. He thought that he was faster than the horse, but was wrong. Loki ended up getting raped by this horse, and a little while later, he gave birth to Sleipnir. Let's see them put that into a 12A (PG13 in America) movie.

Loki is also responsible for the death of his brother Baldur by convincing mistletoe to not swear an oath to not harm his brother. How the mistletoe had a say in the matter, you shouldn't ask... but you can probably tell by now, Loki is not to be trusted! There's a reason he ended up getting chained down in the underworld with snake venom being dripped into his eyes until Ragnarok (that's the apocalypse... so, a very long time). How the characters in the comics and movie didn't realise that he's not to be trusted a long time ago, is also not something you should ask.

Anyway, the movie whilst a divertingly entertaining couple of hours suffers from all of the best moments happening in the first half an hour. When Thor, Loki, and their friends Volstagg, Fandral, Hogun and Sif travel to Jodunheim to do battle with the Ice Giants it looks like you're going to be treated to one of the most epic movies to have been released in the last few years. But then Odin loses his temper, and the writers make the baffling decision to depower Thor for the majority of the rest of the movie, and strand him on Earth (or Midgard, as they should have been calling it). So what you get instead of the movie that you're promised is a fish-out-of-water comedy. Yes, most of this film seems to have more in common with the Eddie Murphy movie Coming To America than an actual superhero movie.

You get a lot of scenes of intrigue in Asgard, as Loki begins his plot to take over, which is why he manipulated events to get Thor banished in the first place (See? Not to be trusted). These scenes are the best in the remainder of the movie, with Tom Hiddleston doing a brilliant job of playing the villainous trickster God. Meanwhile, back on Earth, Kat Dennings is largely unecessary and Natalie Portman's Jane Foster seems to have literally nothing to do but look smitten for 90 minutes. I haven't seen such a waste of an Oscar winning actress for quite some time. Fortunately, we also have Stellan Skarsgard as Erik Selvig, and the Clark Gregg returning as Phil Coulson - always a pleasure to watch - gets significantly more time in the spotlight than in the Iron Man movies. As for Thor himself, Chris Hemsworth proves very capable of being able to carry the movie but - as with the rest of the cast that I've yet to mention - suffers from the material being severely lacking.

There are two more major action scenes, involving a fight with the giant Destroyer, and the final battle between a re-powered Thor and Loki, but both of them are pretty underwhelming. Nothing matches the promise that that first action scene had. What you get is an interesting and entertaining that could have been, and should have been so much more. It's still fun to watch, but by far my least favourite of the movies in the series.

As we get nearer to The Avengers, more little bits are thrown in to whet our appetites. As well as the presence of Phil Coulson and S.H.I.E.L.D., Thor marks the debut of Clint Barton (aka Hawkeye) in a cameo appearance. There are also little nods to both Iron Man ("Is that one of Stark's?"), and the Hulk (Selvig's story of a pioneer in Gamma Radiation going missing when S.H.I.E.L.D. took an interest in him). Oh, and in a blink and you miss it scene at the beginning of The Incredible Hulk there is a weather report showing freak storms in New Mexico which turns out to be caused by the Thor and Mjolnir appearing on Earth via the Bifrost (why the Bifrost would point to New Mexico and not, say, Norway, I don't know). They're also the problems that Nick Fury talks about during Iron Man 2. Talking of Nick Fury, he shows up again in a post-credit cameo, this time showing Erik Selvig a piece of technology that could help in his research... a glowing cube which you may recall seeing a sketch of in Iron Man 2, in Howard Stark's notebook regarding arc reactor technology. Looks like Asgardian technology is responsible for every scientific breakthrough in these movies. Unfortunately, it appears that Selvig is being controlled by a still alive and well Loki. "To Be Continued" is an apt phrase, I think.

Wednesday, 25 April 2012

Countdown To Avengers: Iron Man 2

File:Iron Man 2 poster.jpg

Spoilers, etc.

Directed by Jon Favreau
Written by Justin Theroux

Cast
Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark/Iron Man
Gwyneth Paltrow as Virginia "Pepper" Potts
Don Cheadle as James "Rhodey" Rhodes
Scarlett Johansson as Natalie Rushman/Natasha Romanoff
Mickey Rourke as Ivan Vanko
Sam Rockwell as Justin Hammer
Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury
Jon Favreau as Happy Hogan
John Slattery as Howard Stark (in videos)
Garry Shandling as Senator Stern
Paul Bettany as the voice of JARVIS
Clark Gregg as Phil Coulson
Leslie Bibb as Christine Everhart

It is six months after the events of the original Iron Man, and Tony Stark has discovered that the very technology he created to keep himself alive, is also poisoning his bloodstream with palladium. After trying every combination of every known element as a possible replacement and finding nothing works, he has finally accepted his fate, which causes the already reckless Tony to become even more erratic than usual, whilst simultaneously hiding his condition from those that care about him most - Pepper Potts, again portrayed by Gwyneth Paltrow, and James Rhodes who is played by Don Cheadle, replacing Terrence Howard.

One of the spontaneous decisions that causes them, along with new recruit to Stark Industries, Natalie Rushman, such dismay includes racing in the Monaco Grand Prix. It is here that Ivan Vanko - the son of a man that Howard Stark got deported - makes his impressive introduction, with a pair of powerful robotic whips that are powered by the same arc reactor technology as the Iron Man armour. This scene really sets the bar for the action to come, which is generally top quality.

Ivan's direct attack on Iron Man inspires Tony Stark's unscrupulous business rival Justin Hammer, who promptly breaks him out of jail and puts him to work on a project that will make Iron Man look like an antique. Vanko, however, proves to be more difficult to keep in line than Hammer predicted. Some of the movies best scenes involve the quiet Russian irritating the hell out of his new employer as he sets about on his own project ("Drone better. People make problem").

It isn't long before Tony's behaviour goes too far, even for his long-suffering friends, and after a drunken fight between him and Rhodey (both wearing different versions of the Iron Man armour), Stark is left on his own in an all-time low. Enter Nick Fury and S.H.I.E.L.D. to give him a new lease on life, with the hint that the key to saving his life lie in Howard Stark's research. The scenes between Fury and Stark are part of the reason I am so excited for The Avengers. Robert Downey Jr. and Samuel L. Jackson are both masters of taking any bit of dialogue and making it sound cool. To have them actually have a conversation together? This film provides some hints of that, but with a script by Joss Whedon (a master of dialogue himself), the scenes they share in that movie has to be great.

The climax in which Iron Man and the newly christened War Machine take on Hammer's army of drones that are being remote controlled by Vanko, whilst Rushman (actually S.H.I.E.L.D. agent Natasha Romanoff) infiltrates Hammer's headquarters single-handedly taking out the security detail almost single-handedly (another character manages to get one), is a masterclass in epic set-piece which builds up a great promise for the moment when Vanko himself turns up in his brand new costume. Unfortunately, the final battle is far more disappointing than the one in the first movie. It's over in around two minutes, and is extremely anti-climactic. It is the one action scene in a movie that's jam-packed with action that fails to deliver.

All of the new cast members prove entirely capable of handling their characters, with special mention going to Mickey Rourke and Sam Rockwell as the villains of the piece. They're polar opposites (one all calm and calculated, the other loud and flamboyant), and they really bring something special to the film. There's been a lot of criticism of Scarlett Johansson, but I really liked what she brought to the overall movie. She doesn't get much to do until the movie is drawing to a close, but she's an undercover agent. She can't maintain cover and kick ass at the same time. But when her moment comes, it's one of the highlights of the entire series of Marvel movies so far. Don Cheadle does a good job replacing Terrence Howard (who managed to get paid more than Downey Jr. for the first movie, and somehow thought he'd be able to do the same for the second), and there is a glimmer of the chemistry between Rhodey and Tony, but unfortunately not as much as before. Maybe this was intentional. After all, the story did involve Tony pushing everyone away from him. I suppose we'll find out in Iron Man 3.

Both Robert Downey Jr. and Gwyneth Paltrow are once again nothing short of brilliant as the constantly bickering Tony and Pepper. They've really grown into their roles, and you really get the sense that these are people who have been around each other constantly for the last ten years, and are crazy about each other. Of the returning cast, only Clark Gregg really disappoints, as all Agent Coulson really does is pop his head in to say hello before being sent off on another assignment.

All in all, there are a lot of pro's and con's about Iron Man 2, but I genuinely believe that when they're all added together you get a film every bit as strong as the original. Once again, there was an underwhelming final battle which I hope they can rectify in the third movie, but that alone isn't really enough to condemn the entire thing.

The Avengers references really go all out in this movie, with a couple of references to Captain America (his prototype shield is back, and there's a blink and you miss it shot of the real life Captain America Issue 1 in one scene). Agent Romanoff's entire reason for being in the movie is to evaluate Tony's suitability for the Avenger Initiative. This was confusing at first, especially as there is a line in which Tony reminds Nick that he wants no part of being on this team, when he was already seen in The Incredible Hulk seemingly helping with recruitment. Sharp eyes, however will notice that a news report is playing in the final scene between Tony and Fury. This report is the aftermath of the battle at Culver University in The Incredible Hulk, confirming that this movie ends at around the halfway point in The Incredible Hulk.
Oh... and that other assignment that Agent Coulson is sent on? A post-credit scene shows him confirming that he has "found it". The "it" in question? Mjolnir! Thor's hammer. Oh, yeah!

Countdown To Avengers: The Incredible Hulk

File:Hulk poster.jpg

As usual, there will be spoilers...

Directed by Louis Letterier
Written by Zak Penn and Edward Norton

Cast
Edward Norton as Bruce Banner
Lou Ferrigno as the voice of The Hulk
Liv Tyler as Elizabeth Ross
Tim Roth as Emil Blonsky
William Hurt as Thaddeus "Thunderbolt" Ross
Ty Burrell as Leonard Samson
Tim Blake Nelson as Samuel Sterns
Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark (cameo)

The Incredible Hulk is currently the least financially successful of the movies in what has since been dubbed the Marvel Cinematic Universe, making only $263,427,551 worldwide at the box office. That's a figure that still nearly doubles the film's budget, but it has apparently made Marvel Studios weary of a sequel, saying at the recent premiere of The Avengers that there are no plans on making a new Hulk movie.
It seems that Marvel Studios are taking the relatively low return on their investment to heart, but I believe it was merely a question of timing. It was released just one month after Iron Man, and just one month before The Dark Knight. Not only that, but that summer featured the return of Indiana Jones and a pair of instant animated classics from both Dreamworks and Pixar in Kung Fu Panda and WALL-E. In a summer so saturated in hits, The Incredible Hulk was always going to be the underdog.
It was certainly not a sign of the quality. It perhaps never reached the dizzying heights that Iron Man did in its best moments, but it was a more consistent movie, remaining very good throughout.

Five years previously, there had been a Hulk movie (entitled simply Hulk) directed by Ang Lee of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon fame. It was a failure both critically and financially, and this movie was marketed as a complete reboot of the franchise. The opening credits make that perfectly clear, with a montage showing the Hulk's origin that is notably different from its portrayal in the original movie. There are however certain aspects from that movie that appear to have been kept. The events in the intro are shown to have happened five years ago, which keeps the timeline correct, and the original film ended with Bruce Banner alone in Brazil. Sure enough, when we first meet him in this movie, he's living in Brazil, albeit in one of the heavily populated favelas rather than a shack in the rainforest.

Using training in aikido, he has been learning to control his heart rate to avoid what is referred to in the movie as "incidents", as well as keeping in contact with a scientist who is attempting to cure him and working as an odd job man at a bottling plant for a soft drink company. It is here where the plot really kicks off as a minor accident reaches the attention of General Ross - still searching after all these years in his crusade to use the Hulk for his own ends - who sends an elite team, including Emil Blonsky (a Russian/British soldier on lone from the UK armed forces). After an epic footchase sequence across the rooftops of the favela in which the Hulk makes his first appearance, Banner makes his way back home to get more data for the mysterious Mr. Blue in order to find a cure.

When it comes to casting, the makers of The Incredible Hulk did a mostly solid job, with Edward Norton perfect as the mild-mannered Bruce Banner fighting to control his inner rage. It's an interesting variation on characters he's played before in Fight Club and even the latter half of American History X, and it was upsetting to hear that he would not be returning for The Avengers.
Similarly, Tim Roth excels as the obsessive Emil Blonsky. A man who - after seeing what the Hulk is capable of - volunteers for a scientific procedure which gives him enhanced strength, speed and agility. After his second fight with the Hulk leaves every bone in his body broken he finds that he also has an enhanced healing ability, but still he wants more. Eventually, his obsessive lust for power turns him into an abomination that only the Hulk can hope to defeat, leading to an epic battle that whilst a lot more impressive than the final battle between Iron Man and Obadiah Stane, still pales in comparison to the two major action sequences that preceded it.
William Hurt's "Thunderbolt" Ross also gives an impressive performance as a similarly obsessive villain. The one weak link in the main cast is Liv Tyler.

As Elizabeth Ross, Liv Tyler is perfectly fine. She's still a very good actress, who can handle the role competently. The problem isn't with her performance so much as her complete lack of chemistry with either Edward Norton - as her love interest - or William Hurt - as her father. In fact, this is probably the major reason why this movie can't hope to live up to Iron Man's bar-setting standard. That movie had a core cast with an amazing chemistry that allowed them to just roll off of each other, keeping the dialogue extremely witty (apparently this was mostly improvised). This movie's main cast all do great jobs, but don't really seem to gel together nearly as well, making a movie that is very good, but not great.

Apparently, Edward Norton clashed with the producers regarding the final cut of the movie, and insisted on rewriting portions of the script, which is probably why he didn't reprise the role in The Avengers. I'm not sure who won that argument, but if it was him, I thank him. It really does tell a great story that transitions between the Hulk from the Ang Lee movie (an uncontrollable beast) to the Hulk we'll be seeing in The Avengers (he now has more control over his actions, which is shown both in the moment where he finally gets to speak - "Hulk... SMASH!!!!" - and the final scene in which Banner triggers a transformation through meditation.

As for other connections to The Avengers? There really aren't that many initially... the opening sequence features both the Stark Industries logo, and images of documents signed by a certain Nick Fury. Later in the movie, the S.H.I.E.L.D. database is used in order to locate Banner and Betty Ross. The very last scene of the movie makes for a more blatant link, though, as Tony Stark himself visits an inebriated General Ross to discuss "putting a team together".

Monday, 23 April 2012

Countdown To Avengers: Iron Man

This week in the UK sees the long-awaited release of The Avengers, the first ever big budget superhero team-up movie. Well, actually over here they've officially titled it Avengers Assemble, to avoid confusion with a British TV show at the same time, but everyone with half a brain is refusing to actually call it that.
Anyway, I'm going to be going to see that movie on Saturday, which gives me just enough time to rewatch the five movies that preceded this and give my impressions. There will be spoilers for all six movies. You have been warned.

File:Ironmanposter.JPG

Directed by Jon Favreau
Written by Mark Fergus, Hawk Ostby, Art Marcum and Matt Holloway

Cast
Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark/Iron Man
Terrence Howard as James "Rhodey" Rhodes
Jeff Bridges as Obadiah Stane
Gwyneth Paltrow as Virginia "Pepper" Potts
Shaun Toub as Dr. Yinsen
Faran Tahir as Raza
Paul Bettany as the voice of JARVIS
Leslie Bibb as Christine Everhart
Clark Gregg as Agent Phil Coulson
Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury (post-credit cameo)

This is where it all began, back in 2008, the same year in which a far different superhero movie was released. In contrast to Christopher Nolan's grim vision of Batman in The Dark Knight, Jon Favreau brought Iron Man to life for the first time as a light, fun action blockbuster.
The story of Tony Stark, a flamboyant playboy, womaniser and arms manufacturer who is kidnapped by a terrorist organisation by The Ten Rings in Afghanistan, where he realises that very weapons he's been designing to protect America are being used against it. Creating a suit of armour, powered by the same groundbreaking technology that he has created to keep a piece of shrapnel from piercing heart and killing him, he manages to escape and decides to right the wrongs he has inflicted on the world as Iron Man.
As an origin story, Iron Man works extremely well. I think it's the most successful transition of an origin story from comic to screen ever, with a lot of the best scenes coming before he even first dons the famous red and gold armour. Of course, once he does over an hour into the movie, there is a great sequence where he saves an Afghan village from the terrorist group that kidnapped him before making an escape from US fighter jets.
When the main villain of the piece is revealed, the movie falls down a little though. Jeff Bridges brings a fantastic smarminess to the role of Obadiah Stane, and gives one of the best performances in a movie full of great performances (I've never liked Gwyneth Paltrow as much as I do when she's playing Pepper Potts, and the way both her and Terrence Howard bounce off of Robert Downey Jr. as Stark brings some extremely memorable moments and dialogue), but once he goes from the smarmy, plotting traitor, to full on supervillain with mechanised armour of his own, the movie loses some of its charm. The final battle between the two is okay, but nowhere near at the same level as the previous action sequences.
I found the decision to stray from the comic books and have Tony admit to being Iron Man at the end to be a stroke of genius - and actually far more in character for Tony. As much as he has serious and genuine motives for becoming Iron Man, Tony Stark never loses the trademark egotism, and thrill-seeking nature that makes you believe that there's something of wanting the glory in there, too. So of course, Tony would want the world to know that it was him.
It was a brilliant move by the screenwriters (and Downey Jr.) to have Stark's worldview change thanks to his experiences in captivity, but keep his character stay largely the same. The movie wouldn't have been nearly as effective if he suddenly became a dour brooding superhero. He'd in fact be Batman, and as much as I love Batman, that doesn't work for an Iron Man movie.
Clark Gregg brings a welcome change of pace as S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent Phil Coulson. We don't see much of him, yet, but we'll be seeing more of him in the movies to come.

And then of course there is the matter of this being the first movie in the build-up to The Avengers. A couple of tidbits are included, including a brief shot featuring a prototype of the shield used by Captain America, but the kicker comes after the credits. Up until then, that there was an Avengers movie in development was only a rumour. But thanks to one of the most closely guarded secrets in the internet age, it was confirmed by a eyepatch-wearing Samuel L. Jackson introducing himself as Nick Fury, Director Of S.H.I.E.L.D. to talk to Tony about the "Avenger Initiative". Boom! Fans of the comics rejoice!

Thursday, 12 April 2012

Yet Another Episode in the Life of a Guns N' Roses fan

So, by now you've probably heard by now that with days to spare before the ceremony, W. Axl Rose has spectacularly pulled out of the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame induction in an open letter posted yesterday.

To: The Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame, Guns N’ Roses Fans and Whom It May Concern,
 When the nominations for the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame were first announced I had mixed emotions but, in an effort to be positive, wanting to make the most of things for the fans and with their enthusiasm, I was honored, excited and hoped that somehow this would be a good thing. Of course I realized as things stood, if Guns N’ Roses were to be inducted it’d be somewhat of a complicated or awkward situation.

Since then we’ve listened to fans, talked with members of the board of the Hall Of Fame, communicated with and read various public comments and jabs from former members of Guns N’ Roses, had discussions with the president of the Hall Of Fame, read various press (some legit, some contrived) and read other artists’ comments weighing in publicly on Guns and the Hall with their thoughts.

Under the circumstances I feel we’ve been polite, courteous, and open to an amicable solution in our efforts to work something out. Taking into consideration the history of Guns N’ Roses, those who plan to attend along with those the Hall for reasons of their own, have chosen to include in “our” induction (that for the record are decisions I don’t agree with, support or feel the Hall has any right to make), and how (albeit no easy task) those involved with the Hall have handled things… no offense meant to anyone but the Hall Of Fame Induction Ceremony doesn’t appear to be somewhere I’m actually wanted or respected.

For the record, I would not begrudge anyone from Guns their accomplishments or recognition for such. Neither I or anyone in my camp has made any requests or demands of the Hall Of Fame. It’s their show not mine.

That said, I won’t be attending The Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame Induction 2012 Ceremony and I respectfully decline my induction as a member of Guns N’ Roses to the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame.

I strongly request that I not be inducted in absentia and please know that no one is authorized nor may anyone be permitted to accept any induction for me or speak on my behalf. Neither former members, label representatives nor the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame should imply whether directly, indirectly or by omission that I am included in any purported induction of “Guns N’ Roses”.

This decision is personal. This letter is to help clarify things from my and my camp’s perspective. Neither is meant to offend, attack or condemn. Though unfortunately I’m sure there will be those who take offense (God knows how long I’ll have to contend with the fallout), I certainly don’t intend to disappoint anyone, especially the fans, with this decision. Since the announcement of the nomination we’ve actively sought out a solution to what, with all things considered, appears to be a no win, at least for me, “damned if I do, damned if I don’t” scenario all the way around.

In regard to a reunion of any kind of either the Appetite or Illusion lineups, I’ve publicly made myself more than clear. Nothing’s changed.

The only reason, at this point, under the circumstances, in my opinion whether under the guise of “for the fans” or whatever justification of the moment, for anyone to continue to ask, suggest or demand a reunion are misguided attempts to distract from our efforts with our current lineup of myself, Dizzy Reed, Tommy Stinson, Frank Ferrer, Richard Fortus, Chris Pitman, Ron “Bumblefoot” Thal and DJ Ashba.

Izzy came out with us a few times back in ’06 and I invited him to join us at our LA Forum show last year. Steven was at our show at the Hard Rock, later in ’06 in Las Vegas, where I invited him to our after-party and was rewarded with his subsequent interviews filled with reunion lies. Lesson learned. Duff joined us in 2010 and again in ’11 along with his band, Loaded, opening in Seattle and Vancouver. For me, with the exception of Izzy or Duff joining us on stage if they were so inclined somewhere in the future for a song or two, that’s enough.

There’s a seemingly endless amount of revisionism and fantasies out there for the sake of self-promotion and business opportunities masking the actual realities. Until every single one of those generating from or originating with the earlier lineups has been brought out in the light, there isn’t room to consider a conversation let alone a reunion.

Maybe if it were you it’d be different. Maybe you’d do it for this reason or that. Peace, whatever. I love our band now. We’re there for each other when the going get’s rough. We love our fans and work to give them every ounce of energy and heart we can.

So let sleeping dogs lie or lying dogs sleep or whatever. Time to move on. People get divorced. Life doesn’t owe you your own personal happy ending especially at another’s, or in this case several others’, expense.

But hey if ya gotta then maybe we can get the “no show, grandstanding, publicity stunt, disrespectful, he doesn’t care about the fans” crap out of the way as quickly as we can and let’s move on. No one’s taking the ball and going home. Don’t get it twisted. For more than a decade and a half we’ve endured the double standards, the greed of this industry and the ever present seemingly limitless supply of wannabes and unscrupulous, irresponsible media types. Not to imply anything in this particular circumstance, but from my perspective in regard to both the Hall and a reunion, the ball’s never been in our court.

In closing, regardless of this decision and as hard to believe or as ironic as it may seem, I’d like to sincerely thank the board for their nomination and their votes for Guns’ induction. More importantly I’d like to thank the fans for being there over the years, making any success we’ve had possible and for enjoying and supporting Guns N’ Roses music.

I wish the Hall a great show, congratulations to all the other artists being inducted and to our fans we look forward to seeing you on tour!!

Sincerely,
 Axl Rose

P.S. RIP Armand, Long Live ABC III
You can naturally guess the reaction to this. And the extreme reactions from some people have led me to think, "Wow, and I thought I was pissed off". I'm going to attempt to be the voice of reason here... just no that I'm not letting Axl off the hook. As much as I love the guy, I think this is a bad move. But some people are going a little overboard.

First off, people need to stop acting like Axl is the first and only person involved in this whole situation that did/said something stupid.

Slash dismisses two of the people being inducted as "other guys" who shouldn't even be there. In my opinion, that's worse... he can think it, but to publicly state it in such a way. At least Axl never discredited anybody who is being inducted.
Steven calls Axl's current line-up a bunch of hacks, then apologises, which members of the band accept and all's well. Until a couple of days later, when he explains that he actually meant to scabs, and that's what they are. Not better, Steven!
Then Matt Sorum takes to Twitter to promise the details of the event if he gets a certain amount of followers in time. We all know that he didn't have any exclusive details to give, and was just trying to get attention there.
I honestly believe that if these guys had just kept their fucking mouths shut, that wouldn't have happened.

But, I do wish he was able to act like a fucking grown-up for just one night. Ignored all of the bullshit and held his head up high just for those few hours. He could go back to ignoring everyone else after that and for the first time in years when it comes to something involving all of those guys came out looking like the good guy. A few hours. How the fuck is that too much to ask... he didn't even have to perform. And no, he shouldn't have done it "for the fans". That's all bullshit from a bunch of entitled assholes who think that just because you buy a record, t-shirt or gig ticket they are then able to dictate what the band do for all time. Here's the deal you make when you exchange money for those things... you get the music. You get the t-shirt. You get the gig. You do not get the right to demand they do whatever you want. I may disagree with him on this occasion (and God knows it's not the only occasion, contrary to popular belief), but none of that is related to any future gigs/music. In my opinion, the "fans" who are throwing their toys out of the pram and saying they'll never go to see him perform again etc., are being just as childish and petty as he is.

What he should do it for is the music. The music he created with those six other guys all of those years ago and is still with us and just as relevant today as it was then. Yes, I know that "people get divorced", but plenty of divorcees are able to put their differences aside for special occasions. Especially when they are occasions to honour their children (or in a band's case, their music). To be the only original member of a band left, and then refuse to be associated with said band for something like this, just bewilders me. Either you're a part of it, or you're not. Inducting a band without any one member of the line-up that got them there would be fucking meaningless. If on Saturday they talk about every member except Axl Rose, then they're not really inducting Guns N' Roses at all.

For the record, though, I think the Hall Of Fame - whilst they can induct whichever bands they want - should have clearer rules when it comes to bands that have had multiple line-ups. Either limit it to one line-up, the members when the band was the most popular or give everyone who's been in the band the option. For example, this year they are inducting the Red Hot Chili Peppers, and along with them Josh Klinghoffer who joined the band as a full member two years ago. The one album he's been on has hardly set the world alight. And yet they never even asked Dave Navarro, nor any member of Guns N' Roses who joined post-1990. Seems a bit hypocritical, and arbritary to me, and a disagreement over that could have been another factor in Axl's decision. Or of course the decision to let Green Day be the people to induct them (a band I love and think are a great choice for the record, but Axl could feel differently). Even so, none of this is any excuse for him to throw the whole thing into disarray just days before the ceremony. At the moment it looks like Duff's the only one to have grown up in the last 25 fucking years...

Monday, 12 March 2012

Blossoms And Shadows by Lian Hearn

WARNING: THERE MAY BE SPOILERS

Lian Hearn's Blossoms And Shadows is a piece of historical fiction that places a young woman from the area of Japan then known as Choshu (now called the Yamaguchi Prefecture) in the centre of events in her country in the years between 1857 and 1867.

To really get the most out of the book, you'll first need some kind of understanding of what was going on in the country at the time, so here's a bit of context. It was a very tumultuous time in Japan. The power of the Shogunate was waning, and support to reinstate the Emperor as the leader of the country was rising (for the last 700 years, the Emperor had merely been a figurehead with the true authority falling on the Shogun). The perception of the Shogunate wasn't helped by the fact that they were negotiating trade deals with people from the West. This was probably a good thing in hindsight, but all Japan had been hearing about how France, Holland, America, England and Russia had managed to force China into submission and effectively take control of what they always thought of as the most powerful country in the world. So a movement known as 'sonno joi' was formed (sonno = revere the Emperor, joi = expel the barbarians).

Some of the attacks on foreigners led to some serious repercussions for the country that severely damaged the psyche of the Japanese people. To put it into context, people had attempted to invade Japan twice in the past. Both times were armies from China and Korea. Both times what saved them was a freak thunderstorm wiping out the invading forces before they ever got to the country. This led to the belief that Japan was protected from harm by a "divine wind" and their honour was enough for them to win any war. Then they came face to face with our guns and cannons that literally ripped people apart before they could get close enough to fire an arrow or run you through with their swords.

Tsuru is the daughter of a doctor, whose elder sister has just been married to wealthy pharmacists in the nearby town of Hagi. Her elder brother is currently studying in Nagasaki, and as Tsuru's knowledge is almost equal to that of her father, her family make the decision to find a husband for her to come and live with them, instead of the usual arrangement. However, because she is a woman, she can never hope to fulfil her dream to become a doctor herself. Her uncle, who is only two years older than herself has joined the school run by Yoshida Shoin along with multiple people who will become key players in the years ahead, including several people who would become key members of Japan's first parliament.

Tsuru's story has her intermingle with all of these historical figures in some way as she travels between Choshu, Kyoto and Nagasaki, and overcoming various personal trials along the way. At one point, at the suggestion of a bi-polar artist she has befriended, she disguises herself as a man in order to help administer to injuries at war, where she runs into her uncle who she hadn't seen in years, and the pair embark on a short-lived incestuous relationship. It might just be my personal morality coming into play here, but I found that particular sub-plot distracting, and couldn't really fathom the justification that her new life has made her more free, and in her old life she was so oppressed that a relationship with her uncle wouldn't have been allowed.

Apart from that, and the fact that she could easily pass for a man because she was largely built with big feet and hands, though (and how refreshing it is for the lead character not to be a flawless beauty), I get the impression that Tsuru may have been a little too perfect. I know the author had to get the point across that she was a highly skilled doctor who tragically would never be able to officially claim that title, but it seems that any illness that came her way she would immediately know the cure or treatment for. The only people she's shown not saving have wounds so great from battle that no one could have saved them. But those are my only two big criticisms, and the rest of the book is a meticulously researched and interesting look into some of the most important events in the history of Japan. Considering how much of the turmoil was created by the Western powers, it's actually quite criminal that more people don't know of what happened there, and I'd recommend it to anybody with even a passing interest in history.

Periodically, the action will leave the first person account of Tsuru to focus on vital events in the lives - and quite often deaths - of the real life characters. I've heard this criticised, but I find these sections to be vital for the understanding of what is going on in the main plot, and it helps to have some insight into other characters.

And talking of deaths, there are parts of this book that are not for the squeamish. They don't last long, but the description of what's left after one particular battle against Western cannons stays in the memory in particular. So despite, being written by a woman and told from a woman's perspective, it definitely shouldn't only be considered as a book for women. There's much in here for both genders to appreciate. It's something I think the publishers didn't particularly do well with emphasising when coming up with the covers for it, so it does definitely look like a book that only women would enjoy, all pinks and flowers. Considering there are different covers for the Harry Potter and Discworld books nowadays, it would probably be a good idea to start doing covers for certain books that most men wouldn't feel self-conscious reading.

Friday, 13 January 2012

15 Movies For Chinese New Year

On January 23rd, it is Chinese New Year. People throughout East Asia (not just China, as people seem to assume) will officially be in the Year of the Dragon. Most regular New Year celebrations include one night of drunken revelry, but did you know that Chinese New Year has fifteen days of celebration? Granted, not all of these are counted as official holidays, but still... they certainly don’t do things by halves over there.
Unfortunately, there aren’t many ways you can join in with the celebration over here, which is why I’ve had a tradition of watching a Chinese movie whilst eating Chinese takeaway on Chinese New Year, but this year I thought I’d go the full fifteen days with movies from mainland China, Hong Kong and Taiwan. Thanks to the Lovefilm streaming service, I don’t even have to own all of these. Here’s what my itinerary will look like (yes, I’m sad enough to plan this far in advance).
Day One (January 23rd): As Tears Go By (1988)

Cantonese, Mandarin
Starring: Andy Lau, Maggie Cheung and Jacky Cheung
Written & Directed by Wong Kar-wai
A crime drama that apparently draws inspiration from Martin Scorsese’s Mean Streets, starring a young Andy Lau as a gangster from the city who falls in love with his cousin from the country, played by Maggie Cheung, at the same time as having to deal with his volatile best friend getting them into trouble.
Day Two (January 24th): Police Story (1985)

Cantonese
Starring: Jackie Chan, Brigitte Lin, Maggie Cheung and Charlie Cho
Written by Jackie Chan and Edward Tang
Directed by Jackie Chan
The movie that put Jackie Chan firmly on the action movie map, by incorporating his now trademark mixture of slapstick and martial arts. For the first time in martial arts history, here was a protagonist who was in over his head. Who won mostly by accident, and got hurt... a LOT! The story isn’t up to much, but it does include some unforgettable set-pieces.
Day Three (January 25th): Mad Detective (2007)

Cantonese, English
Starring: Lau Ching-Wan, Andy On, Lam Ka-Tung and Kelly Lin
Written by Wai Ka-Fei and Au Kin-Yee
Directed by Johnnie To and Wai Ka-Fei
A seemingly routine Hong Kong crime thriller except for the fact that the protagonist is a psychopath with supernatural powers. When our “hero” is forced into retirement after finally going too far, his visions that no longer serve any purpose haunt him... and then his friend comes to him for help on the case of a missing police officer.
Day Four (January 26th): Ip Man (2008)
In a black background, the top of the poster states, "The celebrated Kung Fu master of Bruce Lee."  Below is a portrait of Donnie Yen with his head staring down, while his hands are forming a martial arts pose. The words "Ip Man" are coloured in red in both Cantonese and English dialect. The pronunciation of the name (eep ‧ mun) is shown in brackets below the English title.

Cantonese, Mandarin, Japanese
Starring: Donnie Yen, Simon Yam, Lynn Hung, Hiroyuki Ikeuchi, Gordon Lam Ka-tung and Fan Siu-wong
Written by Edmond Wong
Directed by Wilson Yip
Donnie Yen stars as the Wing Chun master that would eventually train a young Bruce Lee. But before all of this, he lived a tumultuous life in mainland China during an era of constant unrest. Don’t take this as a documentary, however... this is a highly exaggerated and nationalistic story about how Master Ip single-handedly turned the tide in the Second Sino-Japanese War (more commonly referred to by people outside of Asia as part of World War II). It is a thoroughly entertaining martial arts movie of the highest order, though, and well worth a watch.
Day Five (January 27th): Assembly (2007)

Mandarin, English
Starring: Zhang Hanyu, Deng Chao, Yuan Wenkang, Tang Yan, Wang Baoqiang, Liao Fan and Hu Jun
Written by Liu Heng
Directed by Feng Xiaogang
A war epic set in the Chinese Civil War between the Republican Kuomintang, and the Chinese Communist Party. It’s been praised as a Saving Private Ryan for the East.
Day Six (January 28th): In The Mood For Love (2000)

Cantonese, Shanghainese, French
Starring: Tony Leung, Maggie Cheung
Written & Directed by Wong Kar-wai
Romantic drama from Wong Kar-wai, which once again casts Maggie Cheung as the leading lady. This movie charts the relationships of two couples that share adjacent rooms in a tenement in 1962. The man from one relationship, and the woman from the other are both regularly away from home, which sets the stage for their spouses to grow closer. There’s a frankly bizarre sequel to this movie called 2046 that you should watch if you like to be confused.
Day Seven (January 29th): House Of Flying Daggers (2004)

Mandarin
Starring: Andy Lau, Takeshi Kaneshiro, Zhang Ziyi
Written by Peter Wu, Bin Wang and Zhang Yimou
Directed by Zhang Yimou
This is one of my all-time favourite movies, and some of the music from it was even incorporated into my wedding ceremony last year. Zhang Ziyi stars as a gorgeous blind girl who just happens to be the daughter of the fallen leader of a terrorist group known as the Flying Daggers. Takeshi Kaneshiro is a policeman who hatches a plan with his boss – Andy Lau – to trick Ziyi into leading them to the Flying Daggers’ hideout. And if you haven’t seen the movie already, saying anything more than that will ruin it. But there are surprises, and there are some of the most glorious fight scenes ever filmed, that along with the perfect scenery and the attractive cast easily place this among the most beautiful movies ever made.
Days Eight & Nine (January 30th/January 31st): Red Cliff Part I (2008), Red Cliff Part II (2009)

Mandarin
Starring: Tony Leung, Takeshi Kaneshiro, Zhang Fengyi, Chang Chen, Lin Chi-ling, Zhao Wei and Hu Jun
Written by John Woo, Chan Khan, Kuo Cheng and Sheng Heyu
Directed by John Woo
If you have the full version of Red Cliff, as opposed to the highly truncated version that condensed the full five hours into one two hour movie, this will require two days to watch. Retelling the story of a major battle fought during China’s Three Kingdoms era, these movies combine the historical Records Of The Three Kingdoms, and the fantastical Romance Of The Three Kingdoms. The Prime Minister Cao Cao launches an expedition to wipe out the kingdoms of Sun Quan and Liu Bei, who forge an alliance to put a stop to it. A huge number of characters use a combination of great tactics, technical ingenuity (one of the characters, Zhuge Liang is credited with inventing the repeating crossbow), espionage, battle prowess and seemingly mystical powers in one of the most truly epic of movies.
Day Ten (February 1st): Aftershock (2010)

Mandarin
Starring: Zhang Jingchu, Chen Daoming, Lu Yi, Xu Fan, Zhang Guoqiang and Li Chen
Written & Directed by Feng Xiaogang
The most expensive movie in Chinese history tells the story of the aftermath for one family of the 1976 Tangshan earthquake. Li Yuanni is informed that only one of her twin children can be saved from the wreckage, and she must choose. The movie tells the story of how this decision affects the life of both herself and the child she saved.
Day Eleven (February 2nd): 24 City (2008)

Mandarin, Sichuanese, Shanghainese
Starring: Joan Chen, Lu Liping, Zhao Tao and Chen Jianbin
Written by Jia Zhangke and Zhai Yongming
Directed by Jia Zhangke
The story of three generations over more than 50 years who work at a factory in Chengdu (the capital of Sichuan province). Included interviews with real employees of the factory, as well as dramatisations of numerous events in characters lives and recent Chinese history.
Day Twelve (February 3rd): Infernal Affairs (2002)

Cantonese
Starring: Tony Leung, Andy Lau, Anthony Wong and Eric Tsang
Written by Felix Chong and Alan Mak
Directed by Andrew Lau and Alan Mak
Martin Scorsese won an Academy Award for The Departed, his remake of this Hong Kong movie. Scorsese’s movie has more well-rounded characters, and spends more time getting to know them instead of rushing through events. But this is still a great slice of Hong Kong action cinema.
Day Thirteen (February 4th): Hero (2002)

Mandarin
Starring: Jet Li, Tony Leung, Maggie Cheung, Chen Daoming, Zhang Ziyi and Donnie Yen
Written by Feng Li, Bin Wang and Zhang Yimou
Directed by Zhang Yimou
A Nameless hero arrives at the court of the King of Qin to tell his tale of how he fought and defeated the three most dangerous assassins in all of China. What follows is a twisty-turny tale as multiple versions of the same events are shown to us. Each version is helpfully and gloriously colour-coded, and once again the fight scenes are beautifully shot and choreographed.
Day Fourteen (February 5th): Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)

Mandarin
Starring: Chow Yun-Fat, Michelle Yeoh, Zhang Ziyi and Chang Chen
Written by Wang Hui-Ling, James Schamus and Tsai Kuo-Jung
Directed by Ang Lee
Ang Lee’s masterpiece won the Academy Award for Best Foreign Language Film back in 2000, for obvious reasons. Just one look at this movie and you can tell that this is a different kind of martial arts movie to the ones you got used to from watching years of Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan movies. It’s more of a romantic epic than it is an action movie, though it features some of the greatest fight scenes the world has ever seen... whenever Michelle Yeoh and Zhang Ziyi are on-screen all eyes are on them, and when they fight... well, I shouldn’t need to tell you about that, because you should know how amazing it is already. An incredible movie.
Day Fifteen (February 6th): Bullet In The Head (1990)

Cantonese, English, French and Vietnamese
Starring: Tony Leung, Jacky Cheung, Waise Lee and Simon Yam
Written by John Woo, Patrick Leung and Janet Chun
Directed by John Woo
Thanks to his classics, A Better Tomorrow and The Killer in the 80’s, John Woo had already made a name for himself for his combination of insane gun-fights and melodrama. But this movie is the perfection of a formula that was Woo had invented. This was his last truly great movie before moving to Hollywood in the mid-90’s.